How to Stop Spinning All the Plates: The Science of “Too Much” and Strategies for Balance, Energy, & Peace

Cognitive overload is real. Research in neuroscience shows that the prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain responsible for decision-making, planning, and self-control, gets maxed out when too many demands compete for attention. The result?

• You forget what you walked into the room for. (Right, it's not just you!)

• You snap at your partner or kids. (Again, not just you!)

• You lose momentum on what matters most. (And again, you are not alone in that!)

Dr. Sandra Chapman, founder of the Center for BrainHealth, calls this brain drain. She notes that multitasking isn’t a badge of honor—it’s a fast track to burnout.

The antidote? Intentional focus, mindful renewal, and clarity around your core priorities.

A Framework to Reclaim Your Energy: The 4R Strategy

Let’s walk through a simple, evidence-informed framework called The 4Rs of Vital Living. It supports cognitive clarity, emotional balance, and sustainable energy.

1. Recognize

Pause and take inventory: What plates are you spinning? Which ones actually belong to you? This is the awareness step—without judgment. Notice, don't judge.

Science Tip: The brain responds positively to naming and noticing. Labeling your stressors reduces the amygdala’s response (your fear center), calming your nervous system.

Ask Yourself:

• Which roles or tasks are draining me?

• Which bring me energy or meaning?

2. Reclaim

Choose what aligns with your values. Let go of the “shoulds” that aren’t serving you.

According to Self-Determination Theory, intrinsic motivation (driven by values and purpose) leads to higher life satisfaction than external validation.

Mini Action: Write down your top 3 life priorities right now. Let them become your decision filter.

3. Rhythmize

Instead of balance (which implies stillness and equal), think rhythm. Create daily and weekly patterns that work with your body and mind. The biggest challenge of rhythm

In music, rhythm is the pattern of beats—the intentional interplay of sound and silence, motion and pause, tension and release.

Without rest notes, music becomes chaotic. Without dynamics—soft and loud, slow and quick—it becomes boring or unsustainable.

In life, rhythm is the same. Our vitality depends on our ability to:

• Move intentionally (not frantically),

• Pause regularly (not guiltily),

• Recover purposefully (not reactively).

When we override natural rhythms—staying "on" all the time—we dysregulate our nervous system, disrupt hormones, and deplete our energy.

Try This:

• Morning priming: breathwork + intention + a specific oil

• Midday reset: a walk, 3-minute meditation, or laughter break (Use that phone, set an alarm to remind you.)

• Evening review: “What did I do well today?” "What did I learn?" and 5 minutes of stillness

Your nervous system loves predictability and novelty in balance—it boosts dopamine and serotonin while reducing cortisol.

Establish a weekly, monthly, quarterly rhythm - giving a place on your calendar for projects, relationships, strategies. It's easy to underestimate the energy it takes to get up every day and say "I really need to clean my closet." Schedule it and forget about it until the "appointment time".

4. Renew

No more pushing through. Restoration is productive. Sleep, connection, creativity, and joy aren’t luxuries—they’re the fuel for the life you want.

Research in Positive Psychology shows that cultivating awe, gratitude, and beauty increases resilience and vitality, even during high-stress seasons.

Ask:

• Where am I regularly pouring in?

• What renewal rituals could I make sacred again?

Mindfulness Practice: The “One Plate” Breath

Try this 5-minute practice at the start or midpoint of your day:

1. Sit or stand tall. Feet grounded.

2. Inhale slowly through your nose for 4 counts, imagining you’re gently setting one plate on the table.

3. Hold for 2 counts: appreciate it (visualize the place setting if that is helpful).

4. Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 counts, releasing what isn’t yours to carry or what is not yours to carry right now.

5. Repeat 3–5 rounds.

6. End with one clear sentence: “Today, I choose to focus on _______.”

Let this become a nervous system anchor—especially when the mental clutter starts stacking up.

Essential Oil: Bergamot (Citrus bergamia)

This citrus oil is well-studied for its uplifting yet calming effects.

Research Highlights:

• Reduces cortisol levels when inhaled (studies from Japan and Korea)

• Increases positive feelings and mental clarity

• Supports emotional processing, especially useful for perfectionism and over-functioning

Use It:

• Morning: 1 drop in palms, rub, cup, and breathe deeply

• Midday: Diffuse with peppermint for a focus-boost

• Evening: Blend with lavender in a roller or bath to signal it’s safe to rest

You don’t have to spin all the plates.

You are allowed to choose your rhythm, prioritize your peace, and drop the ones that aren’t yours—without guilt. Vitality isn’t found in managing it all, but in managing what matters most, from a place of intention, clarity, and self-trust.

Midlife isn’t the end of your energy—it’s the beginning of your most powerful chapter yet.

Let’s stop spinning and start setting the table for the life with really want.

Want to go deeper? Join me in the Yes Society, where we’re rewriting midlife as a calling—not a crisis—and building wellness that sticks. Imagine being in community with others who are experiencing powerful breakthroughs and are there to celebrate with you too!

Or grab my free guide: The 10-Minute Self-Care Plan —with breath, oils, and mindset shifts designed for midlife magic.